Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Cathy Gildiner's Visit
After speaking with Cathy Gildiner about what goes on behind the scenes when writing a memoir, it became clear that writing is more than a career or hobby, it is a way of life. In her memoir, Ms. Gildiner does not censor her life when putting it on paper, even when asked to by her publishing company and editor. "After The Falls" shows the highs and lows of her life, which creates an intimate feel for the reader. In fact, as she stated, it would be a shame to leave anything out because the significance of some events in her life would be lost. It takes courage to publish a memoir, especially when a "gang-bang" (according to Ms. Gildiner, it was not a rape because they had her consent) and affair have taken place. It was somewhat surreal talking to the person whose life I had been reading about for weeks. Her life had been drastically changed in this memoir multiple times and it was very fascinating being able to ask her about these events. Cathy Gildiner has a life that reads like fiction and it was a pleasure talking to her in person. I only have one question after hearing her speak and it is quite simple: how can I aspire to have a colourful life like hers?
Monday, October 18, 2010
Independent Reading Blog Entries
A) Cathy’s relationships with her Mom and Dad
Cathy’s relationship with her parents is continually changing in "After the Falls". As the novel progresses, Cathy changes from her father’s little girl to an independent young woman. However, this transition is brought on by multiple changes in her day-to-day life, the most obvious being a drastic change in scenery. As the lives of her parent’s change so do their relationships with Cathy. However, her mother is a constant in Cathy’s life especially later in the book when her father’s cancer worsens.
As a child, Cathy spent the majority of her time with her father. She was a paid worker at his drug store in their hometown, Lewiston, and the two kept busy by working on various projects. In fact, “My dad and I were at loose ends without a project.” (19). It was pointed out by a psychiatrist that Cathy was “far too close with my father and Roy and needed to have female friends or I would not be “socialized” correctly.“ (20) However, this changes as she begins her teenage years in Buffalo. She seeks acceptance from her peers and begins to loosen the strong bond with her father. This is a common occurrence in many people’s childhoods and it is definitely present in my life. I find myself spending less time with my father than I did five years ago.
When Cathy’s father is diagnosed with brain cancer she is torn between living her own life and being with her father. She has a world of opportunities waiting for her at Ohio State University, but limited time left with her father. In the end she chooses to leave her father at home with her mother, Janet, but is able to spend the last 6 years of his life by his side. It was only when her father’s days were numbered that Cathy realized that she made him feel like he was never good enough. Fortunately, I hadn’t reached the teenage years of my life before my mother passed away so I didn’t have these feelings. Before her father passes away, he says, “She was a real pip.” (337) and Cathy is pleased when she finds the meaning of the word, something outstanding. The quotation, “O guess we all know that our parents love us, but not many of us know what they actually think of us.” (338) rings true in my mind because there is no true way of knowing someone’s honest opinion on you.
In "After the Falls", Cathy’s relationship with her mother, Janet stays much more constant than that of her father. She is always there for Cathy, but does not intrude on her personal life. She has the role of a housewife and after President Kennedy’s assassination, she is left with much less to get excited about. She was ecstatic that “he could be the first Irish Catholic to make it to the top with his unmistakable Boston Irish broque in tact.” (66) and she had a large role in his election campaign. However, as Cathy becomes older and more mature she realizes that her mother’s had drastically changed with the move to Buffalo and much more with her husbands cancer diagnosis. She has sacrificed quite a bit for Cathy and doesn’t deserve the bad luck of her husband’s cancer diagnosis.
B) The influence of popular culture
Popular culture plays a large role in most people’s day-to-day lives and this is made very clear in this memoir. These references are as simple as a VW beatle and Coca-cola, but also complex like the NAACP movement. Catherine Gildiner’s life, like many others, is filled with popular culture. Cathy grew up in the 60s near the time when Black Americans gained rights and freedoms and she was involved in this Black Rights movement.
In chapter 11, Cathy attends a concert with Buffalo Springfield and his band members, Stephen Stills and Neil Young. Cathy lets loose for once in her life and experiences a new feeling of freedom from her worries. “Gradually I began to feel connected to those around me, and then I was on my feet, humming along and clapping and feeling a solidarity that I couldn’t explain. It was as though these lyrics were perfectly describing the last six months of my life.” (189) Popular music during this decade often referred to a young revolution towards world peace such as For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield.
Musicians like Jimi Hendrix and The Doors were also popular during this time and are noted in the novel. “I was wearing pants that I’d brought home from England that were much like the ones I’d seen Jimi Hendrix wear at a concert in London.” (334) Cathy’s life has progressed greatly from living in the small, somewhat isolated town of Lewiston to discovering the life of popular culture behind the rest of the United States and the World.
An example of a major pop culture reference in the novel comes from Cathy’s relationship with Laurie. “On weekends Laurie and I traveled all around in his little VW Bug, registering blacks in West Virginia preparing them for the November election.” (264) Laurie draws Cathy into the blacks right movement and she becomes fascinated by the power of it. World peace was on many young minds during that decade and the bug was a symbol of peace and happiness. Cathy’s life is altered by pop culture and the same can be said for my life. I watch television, listen to radio stations and keep up with the world on the internet, which leaves plenty of opportunities for pop culture influence on my life. However, the word, “pop culture” has been morphed into today’s less than sophisticated popular music and film industries.
In Chapter 19, two FBI officers question Cathy in her home because of her involvement with the NAACP, primarily during the civil rights movement. The FBI officer asked about her involvement in the movement and her relationship with Laurie Coal and Cornell Phipps. She learns that Cornell Phipps was a drug dealer selling through the Universities such as the one in Buffalo, but also that Laurie was a con man and most likely also selling drugs at Ohio State. Understandably, she feels betrayed and taken advantage of. She had recently overcome her fear of relationships with men dating back to the scaring rape scene in Fran’s basement, but after this news she has returned to her original way of ideals.
C) Cathy’s work life
By the end of the novel, Cathy has built up a very impressive resumé. She has been working since her childhood years in her father’s drug store, McClure’s Drugs and selling Mary Kay Cosmetics in high school. Along with this, she has worked in a donut shop, The Dunk, as a short order cook and a hostess at a Howard Johnson, and worked at New York State Welfare. A large portion of the memoir is based around Cathy’s work experiences and her determination to succeed.
As a child, Cathy spent the majority of her time working in her father’s drugstore, McClure’s Drugs. She was a paid worker at his drug store in their hometown of Lewiston and kept busy organizing shelves and delivering prescriptions with the driver, Roy. However, as their family moved to Buffalo there was no longer a pharmacy to help out at and she began her teenage years. Looking for another source of money, she discovered her knack at selling makeup products to her peers. She sold Mary Kay Cosmetics to her classmates at breaks during school and discovers that she “seemed to have been born to work, for soon I was toiling until the wee hours and ranking as a top saleswoman, before moving on to the big time - Mary Kay cosmetics.” (84) Along with this, Cathy gets a job at a donut shop, The Dunk, when she is able to make a pot of coffee faster than the three applicants who were applying. She came to the donut shop with her mother looking for a snack and came back with a late night and early morning job making minimum wage, which seemed very attractive in her mind. The more school missed, the better. Cathy is very confident in herself in working scenarios and even asks Mr. B for a higher salary before she has started working, “What if I do the work of two waitresses and you don’t have to hire a second?” (87)
Later in the novel, she gets a job at the Howard Johnson as a short order cook, something she is not particularly accustomed to. She is fired for her inability to make a Western and other orders when complaints start to come into the kitchen. However, she knew “There was no way I could have done that job.” (127). Fortunately, she sticks around just long enough to take over for a hostess who has just hurt her ankle. Working at this hotel, she is given a wage increase of three years and part-time work whenever she desires. This comes as a shock when she politely serves none other than Howard Johnson himself. I have not had the pleasure of such a fortunate coincidence, but can imagine how definite part-time work in Toronto would be spectacular.
One of Cathy’s most influential jobs took place at New York State Welfare. The office seemed to be at a standstill and “The first few weeks I was on the job, I attempted to look busy, but it only seemed to annoy people, so finally I started going home shortly after noon like everyone else.” (196) However, Cathy realized that no matter how many people are doing it, it is still immoral and decides to work “a full eight hours every day.” (197) She decides to start a program to “match the teenager to the position.” (208) and succeeds when she gets a job at a riding school for Flaps, a polite and kind son of a prostitute who survives on his own and has a special connection with horses. Cathy goes back to the riding academy a few years later and finds out that Flaps “had worked at the club all through high school” and “Everyone had heard of him. He’d managed an entire stable that was as long as a city block.” (211) She feels she has truly made a difference in someone’s life and takes note that this can be achieved with hard work.
D) Cathy’s friendships
Throughout "After the Falls", Cathy builds and ends multiple relationships like many people in their lifetime. As a child she spends hours with Roy, the McClure’s Drugs delivery driver. When she looks to her age group for friendship in highschool, she befriends a very spirited Fran Stephens and one of her only close male friends, Kip Rogers. As a young woman, she is awestruck by Laurie Steme and builds her first intimate relationship with him until it all comes crashing down.
As stated above, Cathy’s was “far too close with my father and Roy and needed to have female friends or I would not be “socialized” correctly.“ (20) Her mother grew concerned that she lacked friends her age and often asked for guidance from Roy. In fact, she has a vision of Roy at the end of Chapter 11 who reassures her that her father loves her unconditionally and knows “what teenagers get themselves up to. He was one once.” Roy describes a relationship as “a feeling” and “All bad acts in the world won’t destroy it. They might chip away at it, but it is pretty well buried in the soul, where no everyday sharp bits and pieces can get in and cut it out.” (166)
As high school begins, she meets Fran Stephens and they become somewhat inseparable. “Fran and I were the class cut-ups. We never completed, for her expertise was in physical comedy and mimicry, and mine was in verbal-mostly abuse.” (52) The two are very close and stay that way until a boy’s recklessness comes in the way of the their friendship. Cathy “knew then that I had to come to the end of the line with Fran. We could never be friends again. I didn’t say anything.” (78) I have come to this point with a relationship with a friend and also decided to draw a line and take action when it is crossed. However, Cathy does manage to have a long-term relationship with her best male friend, Kip Rogers. He is one of the only men her age that she feels comfortable with on a regular basis. Unfortunately, he is drafted in the army and eventually killed in action in Vietnam. She is told when visiting her high school friends at a bar and is overwhelmed. In the bar, Doc toasts to his death and says, “To our Kip Rogers. Never once said a bad word about another living soul. May he rest in peace.” (248)
When Cathy meets Laurie after they both win the Fun City poetry contest she is taken aback by his good looks, but lacks some initial social skills to break the ice. However, the two “travelled around the state, eventually winding up where we’d started, in western New York.” (235) and slowly became closer. It seems as though the relationship was over at the end of the speaker series, but she is surprised to find out that he attends Ohio State and a more intimate relationship could be possible. This relationship is a substantial focus of the memoir for many chapters as they become a couple. She learns to loosen her grip on life and let things happen when she is with Laurie. However, all that Cathy knows of Laurie comes crashing down when two FBI agents tell her he was a con man and most likely selling drugs at Ohio State. Her trust in men had reached new heights with Laurie but now was at a new low. Thankfully, I have not had to deal with an experience such as this.
Cathy’s relationship with her parents is continually changing in "After the Falls". As the novel progresses, Cathy changes from her father’s little girl to an independent young woman. However, this transition is brought on by multiple changes in her day-to-day life, the most obvious being a drastic change in scenery. As the lives of her parent’s change so do their relationships with Cathy. However, her mother is a constant in Cathy’s life especially later in the book when her father’s cancer worsens.
As a child, Cathy spent the majority of her time with her father. She was a paid worker at his drug store in their hometown, Lewiston, and the two kept busy by working on various projects. In fact, “My dad and I were at loose ends without a project.” (19). It was pointed out by a psychiatrist that Cathy was “far too close with my father and Roy and needed to have female friends or I would not be “socialized” correctly.“ (20) However, this changes as she begins her teenage years in Buffalo. She seeks acceptance from her peers and begins to loosen the strong bond with her father. This is a common occurrence in many people’s childhoods and it is definitely present in my life. I find myself spending less time with my father than I did five years ago.
When Cathy’s father is diagnosed with brain cancer she is torn between living her own life and being with her father. She has a world of opportunities waiting for her at Ohio State University, but limited time left with her father. In the end she chooses to leave her father at home with her mother, Janet, but is able to spend the last 6 years of his life by his side. It was only when her father’s days were numbered that Cathy realized that she made him feel like he was never good enough. Fortunately, I hadn’t reached the teenage years of my life before my mother passed away so I didn’t have these feelings. Before her father passes away, he says, “She was a real pip.” (337) and Cathy is pleased when she finds the meaning of the word, something outstanding. The quotation, “O guess we all know that our parents love us, but not many of us know what they actually think of us.” (338) rings true in my mind because there is no true way of knowing someone’s honest opinion on you.
In "After the Falls", Cathy’s relationship with her mother, Janet stays much more constant than that of her father. She is always there for Cathy, but does not intrude on her personal life. She has the role of a housewife and after President Kennedy’s assassination, she is left with much less to get excited about. She was ecstatic that “he could be the first Irish Catholic to make it to the top with his unmistakable Boston Irish broque in tact.” (66) and she had a large role in his election campaign. However, as Cathy becomes older and more mature she realizes that her mother’s had drastically changed with the move to Buffalo and much more with her husbands cancer diagnosis. She has sacrificed quite a bit for Cathy and doesn’t deserve the bad luck of her husband’s cancer diagnosis.
B) The influence of popular culture
Popular culture plays a large role in most people’s day-to-day lives and this is made very clear in this memoir. These references are as simple as a VW beatle and Coca-cola, but also complex like the NAACP movement. Catherine Gildiner’s life, like many others, is filled with popular culture. Cathy grew up in the 60s near the time when Black Americans gained rights and freedoms and she was involved in this Black Rights movement.
In chapter 11, Cathy attends a concert with Buffalo Springfield and his band members, Stephen Stills and Neil Young. Cathy lets loose for once in her life and experiences a new feeling of freedom from her worries. “Gradually I began to feel connected to those around me, and then I was on my feet, humming along and clapping and feeling a solidarity that I couldn’t explain. It was as though these lyrics were perfectly describing the last six months of my life.” (189) Popular music during this decade often referred to a young revolution towards world peace such as For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield.
Musicians like Jimi Hendrix and The Doors were also popular during this time and are noted in the novel. “I was wearing pants that I’d brought home from England that were much like the ones I’d seen Jimi Hendrix wear at a concert in London.” (334) Cathy’s life has progressed greatly from living in the small, somewhat isolated town of Lewiston to discovering the life of popular culture behind the rest of the United States and the World.
An example of a major pop culture reference in the novel comes from Cathy’s relationship with Laurie. “On weekends Laurie and I traveled all around in his little VW Bug, registering blacks in West Virginia preparing them for the November election.” (264) Laurie draws Cathy into the blacks right movement and she becomes fascinated by the power of it. World peace was on many young minds during that decade and the bug was a symbol of peace and happiness. Cathy’s life is altered by pop culture and the same can be said for my life. I watch television, listen to radio stations and keep up with the world on the internet, which leaves plenty of opportunities for pop culture influence on my life. However, the word, “pop culture” has been morphed into today’s less than sophisticated popular music and film industries.
In Chapter 19, two FBI officers question Cathy in her home because of her involvement with the NAACP, primarily during the civil rights movement. The FBI officer asked about her involvement in the movement and her relationship with Laurie Coal and Cornell Phipps. She learns that Cornell Phipps was a drug dealer selling through the Universities such as the one in Buffalo, but also that Laurie was a con man and most likely also selling drugs at Ohio State. Understandably, she feels betrayed and taken advantage of. She had recently overcome her fear of relationships with men dating back to the scaring rape scene in Fran’s basement, but after this news she has returned to her original way of ideals.
C) Cathy’s work life
By the end of the novel, Cathy has built up a very impressive resumé. She has been working since her childhood years in her father’s drug store, McClure’s Drugs and selling Mary Kay Cosmetics in high school. Along with this, she has worked in a donut shop, The Dunk, as a short order cook and a hostess at a Howard Johnson, and worked at New York State Welfare. A large portion of the memoir is based around Cathy’s work experiences and her determination to succeed.
As a child, Cathy spent the majority of her time working in her father’s drugstore, McClure’s Drugs. She was a paid worker at his drug store in their hometown of Lewiston and kept busy organizing shelves and delivering prescriptions with the driver, Roy. However, as their family moved to Buffalo there was no longer a pharmacy to help out at and she began her teenage years. Looking for another source of money, she discovered her knack at selling makeup products to her peers. She sold Mary Kay Cosmetics to her classmates at breaks during school and discovers that she “seemed to have been born to work, for soon I was toiling until the wee hours and ranking as a top saleswoman, before moving on to the big time - Mary Kay cosmetics.” (84) Along with this, Cathy gets a job at a donut shop, The Dunk, when she is able to make a pot of coffee faster than the three applicants who were applying. She came to the donut shop with her mother looking for a snack and came back with a late night and early morning job making minimum wage, which seemed very attractive in her mind. The more school missed, the better. Cathy is very confident in herself in working scenarios and even asks Mr. B for a higher salary before she has started working, “What if I do the work of two waitresses and you don’t have to hire a second?” (87)
Later in the novel, she gets a job at the Howard Johnson as a short order cook, something she is not particularly accustomed to. She is fired for her inability to make a Western and other orders when complaints start to come into the kitchen. However, she knew “There was no way I could have done that job.” (127). Fortunately, she sticks around just long enough to take over for a hostess who has just hurt her ankle. Working at this hotel, she is given a wage increase of three years and part-time work whenever she desires. This comes as a shock when she politely serves none other than Howard Johnson himself. I have not had the pleasure of such a fortunate coincidence, but can imagine how definite part-time work in Toronto would be spectacular.
One of Cathy’s most influential jobs took place at New York State Welfare. The office seemed to be at a standstill and “The first few weeks I was on the job, I attempted to look busy, but it only seemed to annoy people, so finally I started going home shortly after noon like everyone else.” (196) However, Cathy realized that no matter how many people are doing it, it is still immoral and decides to work “a full eight hours every day.” (197) She decides to start a program to “match the teenager to the position.” (208) and succeeds when she gets a job at a riding school for Flaps, a polite and kind son of a prostitute who survives on his own and has a special connection with horses. Cathy goes back to the riding academy a few years later and finds out that Flaps “had worked at the club all through high school” and “Everyone had heard of him. He’d managed an entire stable that was as long as a city block.” (211) She feels she has truly made a difference in someone’s life and takes note that this can be achieved with hard work.
D) Cathy’s friendships
Throughout "After the Falls", Cathy builds and ends multiple relationships like many people in their lifetime. As a child she spends hours with Roy, the McClure’s Drugs delivery driver. When she looks to her age group for friendship in highschool, she befriends a very spirited Fran Stephens and one of her only close male friends, Kip Rogers. As a young woman, she is awestruck by Laurie Steme and builds her first intimate relationship with him until it all comes crashing down.
As stated above, Cathy’s was “far too close with my father and Roy and needed to have female friends or I would not be “socialized” correctly.“ (20) Her mother grew concerned that she lacked friends her age and often asked for guidance from Roy. In fact, she has a vision of Roy at the end of Chapter 11 who reassures her that her father loves her unconditionally and knows “what teenagers get themselves up to. He was one once.” Roy describes a relationship as “a feeling” and “All bad acts in the world won’t destroy it. They might chip away at it, but it is pretty well buried in the soul, where no everyday sharp bits and pieces can get in and cut it out.” (166)
As high school begins, she meets Fran Stephens and they become somewhat inseparable. “Fran and I were the class cut-ups. We never completed, for her expertise was in physical comedy and mimicry, and mine was in verbal-mostly abuse.” (52) The two are very close and stay that way until a boy’s recklessness comes in the way of the their friendship. Cathy “knew then that I had to come to the end of the line with Fran. We could never be friends again. I didn’t say anything.” (78) I have come to this point with a relationship with a friend and also decided to draw a line and take action when it is crossed. However, Cathy does manage to have a long-term relationship with her best male friend, Kip Rogers. He is one of the only men her age that she feels comfortable with on a regular basis. Unfortunately, he is drafted in the army and eventually killed in action in Vietnam. She is told when visiting her high school friends at a bar and is overwhelmed. In the bar, Doc toasts to his death and says, “To our Kip Rogers. Never once said a bad word about another living soul. May he rest in peace.” (248)
When Cathy meets Laurie after they both win the Fun City poetry contest she is taken aback by his good looks, but lacks some initial social skills to break the ice. However, the two “travelled around the state, eventually winding up where we’d started, in western New York.” (235) and slowly became closer. It seems as though the relationship was over at the end of the speaker series, but she is surprised to find out that he attends Ohio State and a more intimate relationship could be possible. This relationship is a substantial focus of the memoir for many chapters as they become a couple. She learns to loosen her grip on life and let things happen when she is with Laurie. However, all that Cathy knows of Laurie comes crashing down when two FBI agents tell her he was a con man and most likely selling drugs at Ohio State. Her trust in men had reached new heights with Laurie but now was at a new low. Thankfully, I have not had to deal with an experience such as this.
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